I've been playing MH3U, aka Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate lately and I actually had a really frustrating gaming experience just now and I feel like I need to share it because it's so bad it's almost good. I need to mention though that I'm a very experienced MonHun player (over 2500+ hours total on all my MonHun games) but sometimes the game just really fucks you over and there's nothing you can do. I'm sure we've all had that happen.
Also, if you aren't familiar with the Monster Hunter video game series then you probably won't understand too well what's going on in this post but hey, feel free to read it anyway!
I should also mention that I've been playing MonHun since Freedom Unite and then I went to 4U and then I backtracked and bought 3U, mainly because I wanted to try the underwater fights. On FU I've cleared every single quest, highest HR possible in the game etc. On 4U I'm a G-rank Gold Crown Special Permit hunter with HR over 700 at the moment. I've played 3U the least and, at this moment, I'm a measly HR5, standing at the doorstep to G-rank (Urgent Quest waiting) and with a bit above 300 hours of playtime.
|Gif made by me.|
Okay, so this extremely shitty MonHun 3U story that I'm about to tell you, which legit happened to me, was on a Village Quest (aka solo quest) called "Triumph of the Tyrants". For those not in the know it's a quest in the Sandy Plains with two High Rank Diablos – a regular Diablos and a Black Diablos. I went to the quest playing Gunner with a Rarity 6 LGB (Light BowGun), donning the High Rank Plesioth armor. I had both Kayamba and Cha-Cha with me.
Normally Diablos is not a problem – few things are, to a veteran hunter. But this time I got my ass handed over to me by one of these horned shitlords.
|A map showing all areas of the Sandy Plains.|
The quest started like any other quest, meaning well. I rarely cart during quests and if I do it's often only once. I don't recall any exact times or anything but I had been playing for maybe 10 minutes, fighting mainly the Black Diablos. I had broken both horns and done a fair amount of damage to it. I was in area 10 when it entered rage mode and charged at me. I got hit (even though I tried to avoid) and my hunter fell down and started the automatic standing up animation – see where this is going? Yeah, at the same time I saw the Diablos turning and preparing to charge in my direction again and the only thing I could think was 'fuck', mainly because I could tell that the monster was at the right distance to be able to hit me again with the charge while I'm still stuck in the animation. As someone who has been hunting a lot of Diablos in FU I'm all too familiar with how these cheating brute bastards go in for the kill in older MonHun games: meaning that they will charge, turn, charge, turn, charge etc, while you're stuck in the rising animation, until you get killed. It sucks and it's 'shitty monster patterns' at its finest. Thank lord this was fixed in 4U when they gave you the option to choose to lay down longer (aka 'invincible state') and thus be able to avoid getting stuck in this kind of infuriating shit when you're virtually helpless because the monster is hitting you during animation sequences and with no breaks nor mercy so that you could get out of it in time. So yeah, needless to say that Black Diablos kept charging at me (each time I was stuck in the animation when it recharged) until I got my first death. Yipee. Needless to say the length of the standing up animation, combined with the Diablos' charging rhythm, were synced and thus I got trapped in a no-escape 100% sure death. I'm sure most players who've played 3U or FU have experienced this crap, especially with Diablos because it's the worst offender.
Okay so, one defeat, no biggie. I'm taken back to Base Camp and I begin to scroll through my items... OH FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, I'VE FORGOTTEN TO TAKE OUT NEW MAX POTIONS BEFORE I WENT TO THE QUEST. :DD Yeah, on the previous quest I had some issues
fuck you Barioth and because I'm so used to 4U's registered item sets I forgot that I have to manually add in each item after each quest in 3U. So yeah, here I go on a duo Diablos quest with Gunner defenses, only 100 health instead of 150 and no way to fix it. Oh well, I thought that I could still do it no problems because I'm really used to how these things work and move – I just decided to be extra careful. By extra careful I basically mean avoid fighting if they're both in the same area and if either of them is raging I'd go fight the non-raging one meanwhile.
So I've started also damaging the regular Diablos and both its horns are also broken. I've been playing for about 20 minutes. I'm, once again, in area 10 and beating the black one up that's alone there. Everything's going well and the Black Diablos is exhausted. I'm hitting away at it until I suddenly notice that we've got company – the icon of the regular Diablos brightened up, meaning that it has entered the area. It's underground though so I can't see where it is and yeah, I assumed it would show up somewhere relatively far away from me so I kept focusing on hitting the Black Diablos for free damage while it was just standing there and drooling. BOOM! The normal Diablos explodes right into my face and sends me flying like ninethousand meters into the sky, far enough to trigger that extra slow hitting-the-ground animation. This sudden surprise buttsex à la angry vegan monster ate over 2/3 of my health bar. Meanwhile I'm, once again, stuck in the really slow animation on which my hunter is trying to stand up, I notice that I'm literally being sandwiched between the two Diablos – they're basically so close to one another that they could be enjoying some sexy time. So yeah, seemingly the Black Diablos is into kinky shit and it bites the regular Diablos in its ass and well, poor poor hunter is still stuck in the animation between these two and thus gets a taste of the black fucker's teeth too and –bam– second cart. Thanks game. :))
At this point it would be a lie to say that I wasn't pissed – two stupid carts that I had no chance to get out of, thanks to being stuck in animations and monsters taking advantage of it. I was really fed up with this quest and just wanted to end it – too bad 3U for 3DS doesn't have a Subquest option. I didn't even want to see another Diablos.
So here we go again, me with my 100 health and two Diablos that hasn't even tried to go to sleep yet. It's been past 25 minutes and I've been hitting both as equally as possible, expecting them to be dead anytime now. At some point I had escaped to area 8 to heal up and I was looking around it while waiting for the red part of my health to recover. I found a, what I like to call, a 'gunner ledge', meaning a sort-of-safe spot that Gunners can fire from. I climbed on top of it and noticed that it wasn't very wide, meaning that depending on which move the Diablos does then it might hit me. Oh well, I didn't have time to think much more before –surprise surprise– the Black Diablos shows up! I take out my LGB and start Pellet'ing the bastard. At some point it did that one upward horn thrust move that managed to hit me and took about half of my health bar (it was raging). It charged a few times more and then the ledge got destroyed, because this is 3U and not FU. I'm falling with the crumbling ledge and I realize that I'm in a veeeery bad position to be in – basically stuck against the wall with the Diablos right over me. It does a tail spin before I have time to react (falling animation is not complete, of course :D) and then I.... GET STUNNED. YEAH. LOW-LIFE STUNNED.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there comes the obligatory follow-up tail spin (there's never just one) and my 3DS flew out the window after that. No, not literally. But I was fuming mad to the point I wanted to make kebab out of that Diablos. #gamerrage
So yeah, that's my Diablos rage troll story. Anyone else experienced something similar or at least equally frustrating? xD Feel free to share you MonHun gaming experiences with me!
~ Shiro Samurai out.